i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
