I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
