I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
