I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize