I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
