Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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