My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
