Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this boner is exhausting
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
