I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You smell like stripper and shame
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
