if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
