would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
