she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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