After last night, I could never be a politician.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
