Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
