So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
