well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
