dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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