Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So many bounce houses so little time
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
