i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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