brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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