and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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