and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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