soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
