I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
