It's Friday. Sex?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
