Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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