I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
