After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
