I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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