I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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