Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
