Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
