she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
