Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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