Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize