there's paper in my vomit.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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