Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
