just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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