He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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