Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh god the rape fog is back!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize