evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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