did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
