i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
