Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
operation have a gay friend backfired
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I deserve this hangover.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
