Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
