no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize