I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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