Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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