Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
