I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
