Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
