Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
third nipple confirmed
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
