at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize