Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
