i would punch a child for taco bell
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
