I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
