once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
