you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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