she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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