I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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